Confessions of a Would-Be News Anchor

Almost ten years have passed since the afternoon my Introduction to Public Speaking professor approached me after class. “So!” he boomed, waxy lips pulled back in a lazy grin. “What kind of career are you thinking about?”

“Television,” I answered immediately. “Broadcasting.”

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat as he hesitated. “You…have to be pretty to be a news anchor.”

My skin burned with shame.

I always said I liked newspapers because print journalism allows a reporter to develop a story more deeply than even the best newscast. During an internship that summer at a local newspaper, I wrote a weekly column, “Musings of a Media Hound.” While the sting of the professor’s words still hurt, my bio still included a plan to “be the next Oprah.”

Over the next few years, however, something got lost in translation. Despite my potential, I held myself back believing I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough or, in essence, good enough. While I understood life included disappointment and rejection, I ultimately began to believe the negativity until I became a negative person I no longer recognized.

Once I realized I was lost, I worked to reclaim the person I was, the person with ambition and dreams. I saw how my lack of belief in myself changed others’ belief in me. You cannot build a relationship with someone else when you’re working from a foundation comprised almost entirely of the relationship itself, used as a status symbol, an affirmation of self-worth.

I have learned no matter where I am in life, regardless of where I work, what I do, or whom I choose to be with, my worth is internal. I do wish to have a family of my own someday. I want to write books people can relate to. I want to be the best woman I can possibly be.

As we build ourselves into better and stronger people, how can we combat the rejection that makes us feel inadequate and replaceable? The answer is simple, and often challenging to sustain. No matter what, we must remember we are always good enough. We may blame others for holding us down, but it’s really our self-doubt keeping us moored in the mud of our mistakes.

We should also refrain from jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about others or ourselves. I frequently used to assume the worst. Now I usually assume the best. Life, however, isn’t about success or failure.

It’s about growth and the proverbial journey.

After all, to borrow an apt cliché, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.